Once upon a time, there was a beautiful princess called Jabba the Hutt. She lived with her evil stepmother, Boba Fett, and her three ugly stepsisters, Leia Organa, Lando Calrissian and Moff Tarkin. Jabba was exceptionally beautiful; she was short and squat, had small, stubby arms and a slimy prehensile tail. This made Leia, Lando and Moff jealous, so Boba Fett exiled the beautiful princess to work in the cellars downstairs.
 
 

However, Jabba was resourceful and before long had turned the cellars into a central hub for illegal spice trade, unbeknownst to her evil stepmother and sisters. She had plenty of visitors, most of whom were smugglers and bounty hunters who helped keep the trade route alive. For the purpose of this fairytale, however, this is completely irrelevant but nifty nevertheless.

One day, a visiting prince by the name of Han Solo came to town. He was handsome, but stupid, and so far had not found a female companion that would put up with his silliness. He had come to the town to look for a Princess, and had organised a ball so that he may meet all the suitable females in town. Word reached the household where Jabba lived, but her evil stepmother had forbidden her to go.

The night of the ball approached, and Jabba became more and more upset, wishing that she could go. "Why, oh why can't I go to the ball to meet a handsome Prince?" she would say to herself. The night of the ball came, and Jabba had given up all hope of going, and, after her ugly sisters and stepmother had left, had prepared herself for a lonely evening in the cellar.

Just when she thought she could not feel any worse, a small green creature climbed in through the cellar window and fell six feet to the floor, where it picked itself up and spoke - it was Yoda, Jabba's fairy god-mother - "At the ball, you are not, hmmm?". Jabba sighed, her heavy heart resounding in her voice. "Alas, no, I am not at the ball where I may meet a handsome Prince to take me away from this desolation.". Yoda pondered for a moment, wondering what she may do for her goddaughter. "Go the ball you will, yes. Fetch me something so that I may turn it into a way of getting you to the ball!".

Jabba slithered off excitedly, with hope in her heart. In her desperate hurry to find an object, she could only find a thermal detonator, and she quickly handed it to her godmother. Yoda waved her wand (which actually was a disfigured twig) and used the force to turn the detonator into a beautiful carriage. Jabba made her way into the self-propelled carriage, heeding the warning of her godmother - "Be back by midnight, or all will be lost, yes! mmm!".

Jabba arrived at the ball, and her stepmother and sisters could not recognise her. She saw the handsome Prince and at once knew that she was in love. She smartly slithered her way across the ballroom floor, and at once caught the attention of Han, who was bobbing for apples with some of the nobility of the town. "O! How beautiful she is!", he spoke out aloud, spraying chewed bits of apple all over the nearby Duchess. Likewise, he instantly fell in love.

They danced, and danced, for what could have been an eternity. Jabba thought the moment could never end, but, too late, she realised it was nearly midnight! They had not even exchanged names and Jabba rushed off back to her carriage to return home. The only trace the lovestruck Prince had of his future Princess was a gooey trail of slime. He collected some in a goblet, and began thinking of a way of finding his lady.

Jabba returned home just in time, the carriage turning back into a detonator and blowing up part of the cellar. "Alas, alas, how will my Prince ever find me?" she wailed, as she set back to work in the cellar. However, the Prince had, out of character, formulated a plan. He was to visit every household in the town in the hope of finding the slime that matched the Princess.

The next day, the Prince began his search. He visited each and every household, and tried to match the slime to the feet of every female in the town. He became more and more desolate and was just about to give up when he came across the last house, the one where Jabba lived. He took one look at the sisters and thought to himself  "O! What sort of abomination is this!". However, he pressed on and the slime did not match any of the sisters. He asked the evil stepmother if there was anyone he could have missed. "Oh, theres the servant girl downstairs, but she couldn't possibly be who you're looking for", Boba Fett declared. The Prince sighed. "Well, its worth a go anyway, considering there isn't anyone else..".

Han Solo made his way downstairs into the dimly lit cellar, and saw his Princess in the corner. At once, he knew, and he rushed over with the slime just to make sure. It was a sure match, and Jabba had never been so happy. The evil stepmother and sisters had been defeated, and Han and Jabba walked and slithered respectively, hand in hand into the sunset, where they lived happily ever after.